We keep long names. As we believe that names should be of at least 4 words and each word should be at least 10 characters long. After all, the longer the name, lesser the probability of sharing it with someone!! If words fall short we add “an” in the end. e.g.Swaminathan, Kartikeyan, Ramachandran etc etc.

-  We add father’s name, grandfather’s name, village name, and street name whatever to identify us; after all we don’t have any identity of your own.

- We use “H” after every “T” and “D” in all nouns, but don’t pronounce the “H”.

- We make decoration outside our houses with White chalk, and call it Rangoli !!!

- We wear lungis and fold them upwards to reveal our magnificent legs.

- We wear the most old fashioned and dull shirt (light brown and dirty cream) to match it with a brown trouser (if office people don’t allow lungis of course) match it with equally dull sandals (or sports shoes if we are really stylish!), don’t tuck in the shirt and walk taking short steps and shaking our butts. We give every impression that we are a homos (half of us, actually are).

- By and large we wear a 100 rupee shirt, compare it with a 1000 rupee shirt and argue “what’s the difference”.

- After taking bath, we apply lots of sandal wood paste on our foreheads, after all its a bit lighter than our skin color. Also apply it on the neck, chest arms and wherever possible.

- We mix rice with curd, add salt to it. Eat it with lemon Achaar and call it a delicacy.

- We mix a few grains of Daal, oops “Dhaal” (read point 3 above) into a liter of water and call it sambhar.

- We remove a few grains of “Dhaal” from the Sambhar and call it Rayasam.

- We remove the entire butter from the Lassi and call it “butter milk”.

- We make Sabzi mixed with coconut, cook it in coconut oil, add coconut to thicken the gravy, garnish it with dry coconut and eat with “Parotas” along with coconut chutney!
 
- We still eat on leaves if possible. After all we still live in the Stone Age.

- We apply a lot of coconut oil to our small heads. If a lady, wear lots of flower beads on our hair, so that we look a real museum piece!

- We specialize in making the smallest houses on the smallest sites possible and raise it to 3-4 storeys and put them on rent or better - still make a PG.

- We make houses so close to each other so that sunlight and fresh air doesn’t get inside and humidity and stink doesn’t get outside. We love this odor.

- We make the smallest possible toilet in one corner and isolate it from the rest of the world by having no outlets for the gases and foul odor to keep the environment clean!

- We have no flush in the toilets as we save water!

- We do engineering after our school. After all our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, grandfathers, and uncles are engineers.

- We have bastardized the English oops Yenglish language. Mind our “YEMs” and “YOs”. Make at least 10 grammatical mistakes in each sentence. After all it’s not our mother tongue, we “didn’t learned” it in school and so “cannot able” to speak properly.

- If we somehow, by mistake, construct a proper Yenglish sentence, scramble the words and leave it to the jigsaw solving abilities of the Indians from other parts to figure it out.

- We hate people from every other part of India as they make us realize our miserable life since they have an extravagant lifestyle.

- We wash our feet in the bathroom before eating. We wash hands at the place where we eat and throw water on the floor, to prove that we are not dirty!