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Viewing 1 - 7 out of 7 Blogs.
Q India is the world’s largest, oldest, continuous civilization.
A Before British or Moguls came to India, the whole region was split in to smaller kingdoms, fiefdoms and landlords. We were as different as strangers to each other. Moguls sensed this weakness and conquered us one by one and this was beginning of the formation of the present day India. All the good things we have today of luxury were borrowed from the Moguls. India was united, as in present form, only by British in 1858 and until 1947 as it covered the territories of India, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Burma. British handed over a smaller India to us then they ruled. We were happy to call it India as it was a precious gift to us from England. Without British intervention we would have been a Muslim country an extension of Islam from Middle East to the Far East. Even for the argument sake Chinese and Egyptians have much older civilizations.
Q India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.
A True. It’s because we didn’t have balls, nor have them or have any plans of having them soon in the future. Where is the need?
Q India is the world’s largest democracy.
A Yep it’s true. As we were and are a poor country the only thing we can afford to buy is Democracy. Communism is very costly as everyone must have a home and food under this ideology – which is still eluding more than half of the country. To be a dictator of a country like India you need balls like Moguls and British when they ruled us. Being a poor country and no balls the only cheap off the rack option available to us is to remain democratic.
Q Varanasi, also known as Benares, was called “the ancient city” when Lord Buddha visited it in 500 B.C.E, and is the oldest, continuously inhabited city in the world today.
A ……And the point is …………..?
Q India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
A Before the time of Christ, early Babylonians and Hindus began using a symbol that eventually evolved into our numeral 0. You can see the Babylonian symbol we use today is similar to the Hindu symbol. Both cultures used it to tell one number from another. For example, to distinguish a 4 from a 400 they would use the symbol for zero twice. But they didn’t use zero as a numeral. They wouldn’t compute 400 - 0 = 400. This was an enormous conceptual leap nonetheless, for it led to our modern-day concept of place value. It is much easier to represent twenty bags of grain with the numeral 2 and the symbol 0 than as twenty separate marks as other cultures did. The first Hindu who figured the magic out from ZERO was called Manikarvasagyartirbugnamhadarttnamalwar. The people who were responsible for our education and doctoring our history books to give us some self respect in free India had a tough time pronouncing the name above hence picked few relevant alphabets and coined the name Aryabhatta.
Q The World’s first university was established in Takshashila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education. –
A Why are you claiming something that exists in Pakistan. Let Pakistan choke on this fact, we look phoney by claiming this.
Q Sanskrit is the mother of all the European languages. Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software - a report in Forbes magazine, July 1987.
A You got me on this one. But isn’t Sanskrit the language the foreign invaders, Aryans, from the Caucasia brought to us as we busy speaking in some tribal languages?
Q Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans. Today Ayurveda is fast regaining its rightful place in our civilization.
A Yeah – it’s cheaper to pluck plants and eat them then buying expensive antibiotics.
Q Although modern images of India often show poverty and lack of development, India was the richest country on earth until the time of British invasion in the early 17th Century. Christopher Columbus was attracted by India’s wealth.
A It was not our India. It was Mughal sultanate and their loot from Asia which Changez Khan and his decendants deposited in a far off place what we call India today.
Q The art of Navigation was born in the river Sindhu 6000 years ago. The very word Navigation is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH. The word navy is also derived from Sanskrit ‘Nou’.
A It is Pakistan we are referring again. Stay focused and within the borders of our present day India. However Its easy for us to rhyme anything we come across and I wont be surprised that some overzealous Indian might lay a claim on naming the USA as America contains A and M in its beginning and it can be alleged that it means Mango ( AM or AAM ), hence America has stolen the name from India.
Q Bhaskaracharya calculated the time taken by the earth to orbit the sun hundreds of years before the astronomer Smart. Time taken by earth to orbit the sun: (5th century) 365.258756484 days.
A Bhaskaracharya’s real name was Bob Haskarach Larya (L is silent hence read Arya) and he was the maternal uncle of William Marshall Smart the great astronomer. Some Keshav is again trying to screw with your head. Stay focused. If it was Hindus who discovered the days in the year then how come a Hindu calendar still says we have 354 days 8 hours 48 minutes and 36 seconds in a year? And you guys are following a Georgian calendar?
Q The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is known as the Pythagorean Theorem. He discovered this in the 6th century long before the European mathematicians.
A You can say whatever comes to your mind as it doesn’t cost anything. I have heard of “BUDHAYANA” pickles being sold in India but have never heard of a Theorem based on this brand. Budhayana Theorem my ass!
Q Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th century. The largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Hindus used numbers as big as 10**53(10 to the power of 53) with specific names as early as 5000 BCE during the Vedic period. Even today, the largest used number is Tera 10**12(10 to the power of 12).
A This should be the eye opener as to why Greeks and Romans were the biggest empires of their time. While they were contended with their counts and maths and were expanding their culture and empire, we were looking for ways to claim their success by concocting cock-a-doodle-do stories no one is buying.
Q IEEE has proved what has been a century old suspicion in the world scientific community that the pioneer of wireless communication was Prof. Jagdish Bose and not Marconi.
A You just don’t give up do you? To cross check your monkey brain output I went to www.ieee.org site and fed the name Prof. Jagdish Bose and the output came “Results for “(prof. jagdish bose) metadata” Your search matched 0 of 1489021 documents”.
Q The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
A I agree. It was the earliest one in India. In the world it was Egyptians who were the first ones.
Q Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted complicated surgeries like caesareans, cataract, artificial limbs, fractures, urinary stones and even plastic surgery and brain surgery. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India. Over 125 surgical equipment were used. Deep knowledge of anatomy, physiology, aetiology, embryology, digestion, metabolism, genetics and immunity is also found in many texts.
A Quacks have been a major problem in India and I don’t dispute that someone called Sushruta got creative and started carving people with his knife and dagger and branded them as surgery.
Q When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilization).
A Which doesn’t belong to us as they are in Pakistan. They are claiming it as well and world is getting confused.
Q The four religions born in India, Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism, are followed by 25% of the world’s population.
A and is concentrated in mainly 1% of total countries ( India and China) in the world ( there are about 193 countries) and is on the verge of Population explosion. India also has enormous problems with overpopulation. The current population is over a billion but India doesn’t have the large land mass that China has. India is experiencing major problems with declining water tables due to over-extraction beyond sustainable yield. Don’t just mention the matter out of the context as it misleads our countrymen and keeps them confused.
Q The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
A Let me correct you again - The first decimal system was introduced in the 4th Century BC by the Sumerians of Mesopotamia, to whom the invention of writing is credited. They based their numerical system on powers of 60 subdivided into multiples of 10. It was from this system that Sumero-Babylonians developed the time system that we use today: each hour is divided into 60 minutes, which are divided into 60 seconds. However, they did not have a symbol for zero, which was introduced by Arabians only toward the end of the first millennium BC.
Q India is one of the few countries in the World, which gained independence without violence.
A At the end of the Second World War, the White countries in Europe were physically and psychologically weakened: the balance of power passed firmly to the United States on the one hand and the Soviet Union the other. These factors, combined with resurgence in non-White nationalisms in the colonies, led directly to the post-war wave of decolonization. Almost all the colonies were disbanded during this era. India was not in a position to attack physically and mentally superior white masters hence waited till they got tired and gave us our freedom.
Q India has the second largest pool of Scientists and Engineers in the World.
A So is that the reason we are a third world nation?
Q India is the largest English speaking nation in the world.
A Yes we can understand and read English. Speaking in English is a different theme altogether. As most of us have to resort to our local tribal languages to support English in order to be understood. One of our convent educated girl Shilpa Shetty was abused by English participants as they couldn’t understand as to what she was blabbering. Slapped with the racism charge, our best weapon against the white civilised world, the generous whites handed over the crown to a third world girl and backed off in humility.
Q India is the only country other than US and Japan, to have built a super computer indigenously –
A How about an Enema? You need help. You all need help! You all need cleansing as the ??? is floating all around in your body.
Q 60% of Indians are known to have the smallest penises in the world, a report in BBC (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6161691.stm) said it all.
A It’s a serious issue and you all should not brag about it as everyone knows that “size does matter”! Just click on the following link to see as to how the world is reacting to this bragging of yours (http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2006/12/size_matters_co.html).
The Vagina Monologues is an award-winning episodic play written by an American writer and feminist activist called Eve Ensler, who had a sexually abusive father, in 1996. This unique script was written after interviews she conducted with 200 women about their views on sex, relationships, and violence against women. These interviews started as casual women Talk with her friends, who then brought up anecdotes they themselves had been told by other friends; this began a barrage of referrals. It had its instant success in Manhattan New York, at one of the off-Broadway theatres. It circled on the theme of the response to the guilt and embarrassment that many women still connect with their bodies or their sexuality. The Vagina Monologues has been translated into 35 different languages and performed world-wide. Hollywood celebrities who have starred in the play include Oprah Winfrey,Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon & Glenn Close.
The playwriter wrote the piece to “celebrate the vagina,” which defines a vagina being superior to the penis because it had the clitoris, which the monologues describe as the only body part in entity that has the sole purpose of giving pleasure.It has been defined as a tool of empowerment through which a woman can achieve total femininity and individuality. Later on it changed from a celebration of vagina and femininity to a movement to stop violence against women.
Even in the United States, it had its own perils. Advocates of equality,pro-sex feminists protested by branding it anti sex as it had lot of focus on brutal sexual encounters compared with consensual or harmonious sexual encounters They also alleged that it had negative portrayal of male-female sexual relationships.
The conservative Republicans revolted by urging students and parents to protest causing protests as a result performances were canceled at sixteen Catholic colleges. They strongly denounced it as “a piece replete with sexual encounters, lusty, graphic descriptions of masturbation & lesbian behavior”.
The Vagina Monologues has been playing in India since 2003. It was a bold title in an extremely conservative society. The organisers wanted to name it in Hindi by calling it ” Ch**t ki suno” or ” Ch**t ki bakwas” (vagina is called ch**t in hindi) but were not convinced of its impact and were also scared of their own safety for the fear of being skinned alive. Finally it was Shabana Azmi who suggested to maintain the original name for the play as in the west. She argued that only English was a suitable language to describe a vagina as all local languages of India made it sound like an abuse. A pilot show was launched in Mumbai and the sex starved lecherous crowd went berserk buying the tickets in frenzy. They thought that India was being finally liberated and they could officially hear Vagina talking live on a stage. It is alleged that Mahesh Bhatt, a notorious film maker known for his appetite for vulgarity, himself was among the first 10 people in the line to buy entry cards when the ticket sales started. Not to mention other 9 were his own brothers and cousins. The show was Indianised with a story about an elderly Parsi woman and a young Maharashtrian woman. Naturally the front benchers and the audience which got lured in by a “freak-out” name were disappointed and were totally pissed off. They saw two sorry looking women chatting and chatting about a part of their anatomy which sounded more like a finger or something else as the English used was hybrid and beyond the reach of a common man. The irate mob burnt down the theatre in anger for being made fools of and blatantly misled. Bollywood story writers advised the organisers to improvise the play by adding jhatkas and matkas in to it to make it a super hit in a country of over 1 billion. They are considering to make this show in Hindi as well. Afraid of its explosive potential in sex starved nation,Chennai has banned it totally(http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3501034.stm).
Encouraged by the success of this play the organisers have patented another name in New York for a sequel to be launched under the name ” Perils of Penis”. As a safety net a second name has been registered as ” Penis Dialogues” !
We keep long names. As we believe that names should be of at least 4 words and each word should be at least 10 characters long. After all, the longer the name, lesser the probability of sharing it with someone!! If words fall short we add “an” in the end. e.g.Swaminathan, Kartikeyan, Ramachandran etc etc.
- We add father’s name, grandfather’s name, village name, and street name whatever to identify us; after all we don’t have any identity of your own.
- We use “H” after every “T” and “D” in all nouns, but don’t pronounce the “H”.
- We make decoration outside our houses with White chalk, and call it Rangoli !!!
- We wear lungis and fold them upwards to reveal our magnificent legs.
- We wear the most old fashioned and dull shirt (light brown and dirty cream) to match it with a brown trouser (if office people don’t allow lungis of course) match it with equally dull sandals (or sports shoes if we are really stylish!), don’t tuck in the shirt and walk taking short steps and shaking our butts. We give every impression that we are a homos (half of us, actually are).
- By and large we wear a 100 rupee shirt, compare it with a 1000 rupee shirt and argue “what’s the difference”.
- After taking bath, we apply lots of sandal wood paste on our foreheads, after all its a bit lighter than our skin color. Also apply it on the neck, chest arms and wherever possible.
- We mix rice with curd, add salt to it. Eat it with lemon Achaar and call it a delicacy.
- We mix a few grains of Daal, oops “Dhaal” (read point 3 above) into a liter of water and call it sambhar.
- We remove a few grains of “Dhaal” from the Sambhar and call it Rayasam.
- We remove the entire butter from the Lassi and call it “butter milk”.
- We make Sabzi mixed with coconut, cook it in coconut oil, add coconut to thicken the gravy, garnish it with dry coconut and eat with “Parotas” along with coconut chutney!
- We still eat on leaves if possible. After all we still live in the Stone Age.
- We apply a lot of coconut oil to our small heads. If a lady, wear lots of flower beads on our hair, so that we look a real museum piece!
- We specialize in making the smallest houses on the smallest sites possible and raise it to 3-4 storeys and put them on rent or better - still make a PG.
- We make houses so close to each other so that sunlight and fresh air doesn’t get inside and humidity and stink doesn’t get outside. We love this odor.
- We make the smallest possible toilet in one corner and isolate it from the rest of the world by having no outlets for the gases and foul odor to keep the environment clean!
- We have no flush in the toilets as we save water!
- We do engineering after our school. After all our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, grandfathers, and uncles are engineers.
- We have bastardized the English oops Yenglish language. Mind our “YEMs” and “YOs”. Make at least 10 grammatical mistakes in each sentence. After all it’s not our mother tongue, we “didn’t learned” it in school and so “cannot able” to speak properly.
- If we somehow, by mistake, construct a proper Yenglish sentence, scramble the words and leave it to the jigsaw solving abilities of the Indians from other parts to figure it out.
- We hate people from every other part of India as they make us realize our miserable life since they have an extravagant lifestyle.
- We wash our feet in the bathroom before eating. We wash hands at the place where we eat and throw water on the floor, to prove that we are not dirty!
India can not, ever, become a superpower as we do not have what it takes to become one. Superpowers are feared, revered and respected.
Convincing military power is needed to route Pakistan out of the equation or dream of even taking on China to settle our border issue. After the terror strike in New York, 9/11, Americans wanted to invade Afghanistan and wanted Pakistan to aid their effort. For the fear of being bombed to stone ages, General Musharraf gave every support possible to the Americans and help them slay their own Muslim brethren and their own creation Taliban. For the last 59 years we are locked on with our military with Pakistan on a Status quo situation.
Soon after we exploded Pokharan-II, Pakistan went ahead and grabbed our hills on Kargil. They did not get scared of our military or newly acquired status of a nuclear power as obviously they thought we were some kind of paper tigers. We got whipped so badly in Kargil that when we tried to take it back militarily from another third world army supported Guerrillas, they hit back ferociously that we were about to give up the hopes of recapturing them. Thanks to the American intervention that Nawaz Sharf was asked to pull back his forces and we were able to put our flag back on the peaks of Kargil hills. The only thing which proves that we fought bravely and won in Kargil is the Bollywood films made on Kargil like LOC and Lakshya. Our Bollywood films are busy blowing sunshine on our butts 24/7 depicting what we are not and things which are a fantasy. They would show by and large what every Indian wishes to see. In 1982 we could not even fight Tamil Guerrillas in Sri Lanka when our forces were dispatched to maintain some kind of peace in there. The Guerrillas evicted our forces from Sri Lanka and demoralized us for quite some time. Today, despite of having a congress rule, Mrs Sonia Gandhi can not bring a Guerrilla leader Prabhakaran to Justice who killed her husband, our ex Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi. Couple of years ago agitated soldiers from a much inferior nation, Bangladesh, crossed our border, snatched our army Jawans, tortured them and then killed them and threw their bodies back at us without any fear of punishment. We are slightly better than Pakistan in military balance but they do have the power to nuke us back to stone ages and then it becomes irrelevant that we can wipe them out from the face of earth. So super NOT power are we that we can send hundreds of thousands of Kashmiri pundits back to Kashmir as we can not protect them within our own land. We can not take back the lost piece of Tibet or Kashmir occupied by Pakistan and China (Aksai Chin) militarily or diplomatically.
Another major sign of not being able to become a super power is sports. We are a nation of physically unfit people. It takes eleven best Indian people to have a shot at being number 5 or 6 in cricket playing nations (There are about 7 countries in the world that can play competitive cricket). But ask any Indian and he will say that we are the best or maybe second best nation in cricket. . All the sudden found richness in the country is concentrated in less that 1% people of our population and the inflation is all time high. We have more Crorepatis in the country as the property prices have gone up four to five folds and have made Lakhpatis out of the ordinary poverty line people. Do we all know that about 750 Million (that’s about 70%) of Indians have never seen a toilet in their life leave aside owning one? 80% of our professionals graduating from engineering schools are not employable. 75% of the software engineers from India who had acquired their meal tickets abroad have been sacked due to not being viable, commercially or financially.
We spend time in following false stories in our newspapers which glorify India’s achievements but never bother to cross check as to what the truth is. The truth is that we Indians, by and large, do not want to hear that their is something basically wrong with our system. We are still badly confused between Metric and non metric system. Ask a doctor as to what the thermometer says when measuring someone’s fever and he will reply you in Fahrenheit (non-metric)and immediately ask him the temperature out side his clinic and he shall give you the same in Centigrade ( metric)? Same goes for small things in the shops. Fabric is sold in Meters (as it is a metric measure) but the width of the fabric is still given out in inches (that is no metric measure).
People in General are scared of the Government and its machine (Law and Order) and not the other way around and till this reverses; we can not even have a shot at being in the second world. I would say don’t even dream of being in the first world less about being a super power. Most of the Indians have never stepped out of their own borders of the city they live in leave aside crossing the national borders. In the world we are known as a democratic poor nation which is progressing. We are known for our non violence ways and respected for that. Four out of the five Security Council members in the UN are our friends which guarantees our safety should any military adventure is launched against us by China and this in no way be construed as India’s military might.We have to give up being arrogant. Bring compassion in our behaviour. Be humble. Look down and concentrate in your work and good things will happen. And remember, we have to be in the second world first in order to reach the first world and that should be our immediate aim.
Q India is the world’s largest, oldest, continuous civilization.
A Before British or Moguls came to India, the whole region was split in to smaller kingdoms, fiefdoms and landlords. We were as different as strangers to each other. Moguls sensed this weakness and conquered us one by one and this was beginning of the formation of the present day India. All the good things we have today of luxury were borrowed from the Moguls. India was united, as in present form, only by British in 1858 and until 1947 as it covered the territories of India, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Burma. British handed over a smaller India to us then they ruled. We were happy to call it India as it was a precious gift to us from England. Without British intervention we would have been a Muslim country an extension of Islam from Middle East to the Far East. Even for the argument sake Chinese and Egyptians have much older civilizations.
Q India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.
A True. It’s because we didn’t have balls, nor have them or have any plans of having them soon in the future. Where is the need?
Q India is the world’s largest democracy.
A Yep it’s true. As we were and are a poor country the only thing we can afford to buy is Democracy. Communism is very costly as everyone must have a home and food under this ideology – which is still eluding more than half of the country. To be a dictator of a country like India you need balls like Moguls and British when they ruled us. Being a poor country and no balls the only cheap off the rack option available to us is to remain democratic.
Q Varanasi, also known as Benares, was called “the ancient city” when Lord Buddha visited it in 500 B.C.E, and is the oldest, continuously inhabited city in the world today.
A ……And the point is …………..?
Q India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
A Before the time of Christ, early Babylonians and Hindus began using a symbol that eventually evolved into our numeral 0. You can see the Babylonian symbol we use today is similar to the Hindu symbol. Both cultures used it to tell one number from another. For example, to distinguish a 4 from a 400 they would use the symbol for zero twice. But they didn’t use zero as a numeral. They wouldn’t compute 400 - 0 = 400. This was an enormous conceptual leap nonetheless, for it led to our modern-day concept of place value. It is much easier to represent twenty bags of grain with the numeral 2 and the symbol 0 than as twenty separate marks as other cultures did. The first Hindu who figured the magic out from ZERO was called Manikarvasagyartirbugnamhadarttnamalwar. The people who were responsible for our education and doctoring our history books to give us some self respect in free India had a tough time pronouncing the name above hence picked few relevant alphabets and coined the name Aryabhatta.
Q The World’s first university was established in Takshashila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education. –
A Why are you claiming something that exists in Pakistan. Let Pakistan choke on this fact, we look phoney by claiming this.
Q Sanskrit is the mother of all the European languages. Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software - a report in Forbes magazine, July 1987.
A You got me on this one. But isn’t Sanskrit the language the foreign invaders, Aryans, from the Caucasia brought to us as we busy speaking in some tribal languages?
Q Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans. Today Ayurveda is fast regaining its rightful place in our civilization.
A Yeah – it’s cheaper to pluck plants and eat them then buying expensive antibiotics.
Q Although modern images of India often show poverty and lack of development, India was the richest country on earth until the time of British invasion in the early 17th Century. Christopher Columbus was attracted by India’s wealth.
A It was not our India. It was Mughal sultanate and their loot from Asia which Changez Khan and his decendants deposited in a far off place what we call India today.
Q The art of Navigation was born in the river Sindhu 6000 years ago. The very word Navigation is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH. The word navy is also derived from Sanskrit ‘Nou’.
A It is Pakistan we are referring again. Stay focused and within the borders of our present day India. However Its easy for us to rhyme anything we come across and I wont be surprised that some overzealous Indian might lay a claim on naming the USA as America contains A and M in its beginning and it can be alleged that it means Mango ( AM or AAM ), hence America has stolen the name from India.
Q Bhaskaracharya calculated the time taken by the earth to orbit the sun hundreds of years before the astronomer Smart. Time taken by earth to orbit the sun: (5th century) 365.258756484 days.
A Bhaskaracharya’s real name was Bob Haskarach Larya (L is silent hence read Arya) and he was the maternal uncle of William Marshall Smart the great astronomer. Some Keshav is again trying to screw with your head. Stay focused. If it was Hindus who discovered the days in the year then how come a Hindu calendar still says we have 354 days 8 hours 48 minutes and 36 seconds in a year? And you guys are following a Georgian calendar?
Q The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is known as the Pythagorean Theorem. He discovered this in the 6th century long before the European mathematicians.
A You can say whatever comes to your mind as it doesn’t cost anything. I have heard of “BUDHAYANA” pickles being sold in India but have never heard of a Theorem based on this brand. Budhayana Theorem my ass!
Q Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th century. The largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Hindus used numbers as big as 10**53(10 to the power of 53) with specific names as early as 5000 BCE during the Vedic period. Even today, the largest used number is Tera 10**12(10 to the power of 12).
A This should be the eye opener as to why Greeks and Romans were the biggest empires of their time. While they were contended with their counts and maths and were expanding their culture and empire, we were looking for ways to claim their success by concocting cock-a-doodle-do stories no one is buying.
Q IEEE has proved what has been a century old suspicion in the world scientific community that the pioneer of wireless communication was Prof. Jagdish Bose and not Marconi.
A You just don’t give up do you? To cross check your monkey brain output I went to www.ieee.org site and fed the name Prof. Jagdish Bose and the output came “Results for “(prof. jagdish bose) metadata” Your search matched 0 of 1489021 documents”.
Q The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
A I agree. It was the earliest one in India. In the world it was Egyptians who were the first ones.
Q Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted complicated surgeries like caesareans, cataract, artificial limbs, fractures, urinary stones and even plastic surgery and brain surgery. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India. Over 125 surgical equipment were used. Deep knowledge of anatomy, physiology, aetiology, embryology, digestion, metabolism, genetics and immunity is also found in many texts.
A Quacks have been a major problem in India and I don’t dispute that someone called Sushruta got creative and started carving people with his knife and dagger and branded them as surgery.
Q When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilization).
A Which doesn’t belong to us as they are in Pakistan. They are claiming it as well and world is getting confused.
Q The four religions born in India, Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism, are followed by 25% of the world’s population.
A and is concentrated in mainly 1% of total countries ( India and China) in the world ( there are about 193 countries) and is on the verge of Population explosion. India also has enormous problems with overpopulation. The current population is over a billion but India doesn’t have the large land mass that China has. India is experiencing major problems with declining water tables due to over-extraction beyond sustainable yield. Don’t just mention the matter out of the context as it misleads our countrymen and keeps them confused.
Q The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
A Let me correct you again - The first decimal system was introduced in the 4th Century BC by the Sumerians of Mesopotamia, to whom the invention of writing is credited. They based their numerical system on powers of 60 subdivided into multiples of 10. It was from this system that Sumero-Babylonians developed the time system that we use today: each hour is divided into 60 minutes, which are divided into 60 seconds. However, they did not have a symbol for zero, which was introduced by Arabians only toward the end of the first millennium BC.
&nb sp; &nb sp;
Q India is one of the few countries in the World, which gained independence without violence.
A At the end of the Second World War, the White countries in Europe were physically and psychologically weakened: the balance of power passed firmly to the United States on the one hand and the Soviet Union the other. These factors, combined with resurgence in non-White nationalisms in the colonies, led directly to the post-war wave of decolonization. Almost all the colonies were disbanded during this era. India was not in a position to attack physically and mentally superior white masters hence waited till they got tired and gave us our freedom.
Q India has the second largest pool of Scientists and Engineers in the World.
A So is that the reason we are a third world nation?
Q India is the largest English speaking nation in the world.
A Yes we can understand and read English. Speaking in English is a different theme altogether. As most of us have to resort to our local tribal languages to support English in order to be understood. One of our convent educated girl Shilpa Shetty was abused by English participants as they couldn’t understand as to what she was blabbering. Slapped with the racism charge, our best weapon against the white civilised world, the generous whites handed over the crown to a third world girl and backed off in humility.
Q India is the only country other than US and Japan, to have built a super computer indigenously –
A How about an Enema? You need help. You all need help! You all need cleansing as the ??? is floating all around in your body.
Q 60% of Indians are known to have the smallest penises in the world, a report in BBC (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6161691.stm) said it all.
A It’s a serious issue and you all should not brag about it as everyone knows that “size does matter”! Just click on the following link to see as to how the world is reacting to this bragging of yours (http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2006/12/size_matters_co.html).
Our religion, Hinduism, is a kind of ancient folklore consisting of stories often thought to be factual by our physically unfit and sometimes deranged ancestors who circulated them by word of mouth which in turn gave birth to thousands of Gods what we have today to deal with and watch out from. Never before anyone tried successfully to question the logic in the tales of our Gods and their messengers.
Since we Hindus have a closed thinking and are not ready to reason out the validity and authenticity of the Godly stories and the religious myths which have survived a long time, hence we are going to go through another wild ride freak show of mine which will be thought provoking.
Lord Krishna and his tale is one of the myths which I have thought carefully and logically and have come to the following outcome. You the people, have the power to read everything with a cool mind, analyze it and if possible spare me the rod of exposing you to the truth and enlightening you. Your first and obvious reaction will be to brand me as anti-hindu and label me as blasphemous but the truth can not fade away that I am an Arya Samaji Hindu who worships fire (hawan) and a patriot Indian who has plans to spend rest of his life at a safe distance from the mob mentality of India.
Thousands of years ago somewhere in the land of northern India / Bharat (present day UP) lived a Holy man ( a Pundit lets just call him Keshav for short) who ruled hundreds of villages with his intelligence by using his connection to some king who occupied the throne governing that piece of land at that time. Being from the uppermost echelons of the Indian caste system, a Brahman, Keshav literally ruled by proxy over thousands and thousands of the villagers as it was a very populous region of Bharat (even today). He had given them religion or merely forwarded the beliefs what his great grand fathers had devised and concocted in the past. Through his alleged connections to so called God, he would scare them with Gods curse (shrapa) and earn his respect and live wealthily and unchallenged. Education was rare and the ones who had it were very few and had the land of ancient India divided with the principles of modern day joint stock Company. This is how the religion was in the olden days and is also the same in the present days in India – controlled by likes of Chandraswami and other similar hoodlums and in the garb of Holy men. This holy man , Keshav was married to a fat woman (as she was hogging the free offerings of deities pouring in day and night) called Gulabo (name not important now). He was having a great time fooling around with the village women bathing in the lake by being a voyeur or getting Thurks (cheap thrills) out of stealing their cloths and sometimes cross dressing by wearing their Ghaghara cholis etc and the works. Keshav also had a side show going on as he was busy banging a beautiful seductresscalled Paro behind the limits borderlines of the village, a no man’s land where no one was suppose to loiter due to God’s curse ( Keshav had forbidden the villagers as his advise was the will of God hence carved a safe heaven for his privacy). Keshav was all nuts for this woman as she controlled him for the exceptional power she had in the act of Kama. One day Paro playing with Keshav’s hair (pony tail) while he was resting in her lap (Godi), floating in the after effects of the ride she had just given him, told him the inevitable. She wanted out. He was confused but then she explained him that while she had to put up with all the crap from him and have sex etc (including kissing) the honor of being the GOD MAN’S wife went to Gulabo. It was not acceptable to Paro as she was getting a bad name and was being branded as a slut by the hush hush villagers.
He thought of the consequences and his other one sided boring sexual escapades with other village women; he just couldn’t let Paro go away. She was a must for him. What to do? Gulabo will never allow sharing the honour being a punditain besides he didn’t want a pissed off king on his butt for breaking the social established norms for his side show. He, being the only thinker and smart Alec in the whole area, thought of a game plan. He knew Villagers were suckers for Gods. Since they had many Gods, one more won’t matter! It took him some time and came up with a perfect story of Gokul, Mathura and the usual rural-urban legends stuff with works. Kansa, Hidimba ( buxomous she devil),Vvasudeva, Yashodhra etc etc etc. Then slowly he inserted the excerpts of Radha in the story. He wrote his own story with a difference. Keshav became Krishna, Paro became Radha and Gulabo became Rukmani. So disgusted was Keshav with Gulabo that he didn’t give any decent role to Rukmini in his script. He then met his regular group of illuminati ( other neighboring holy men) and had his story inserted in the holy book for Hindus as others were too keen to accommodate after adjusting their own fairy God tales they had given to their villagers ( Janta Janardan). Keshav’s Villagers accepted the story as it had typical Bollywood masala – It had tragedy in Krishna’s siblings being killed by Kansa, Slapstick comedy in Krishna stealing dairy products, sex as in Gopis and their cloths being flicked by a Romeo and satisfying violent ending with Kansa being killed. It became a super hit story and the Keshav’s blatant daring sexual escapades, some of them straight out of Kama Sutra, were compared with sacred Ras Leela of Lord Krishna. Every side was happy as everyone was the winner. People got God, Paro got status of being Keshav’s Radha and Gulabo bagged her self respect as she could tell her friends that her husband had to have a Radha. Windmills of the Gods took the folklore to the furthest tip of our lands and such is the success of this story that no body has had the guts to challenge it until today.
No one wants to know as to why are we suppose to pray to Radha and Krishnaand recite the mantra Radhe Krishan whenever we enter the temples? Why is Rukmini, the wife of Krishna, kept out? Ask your own children they will vouch that Radha is Krishna’s wife (before you freak out on me, run this test within your own house).
Why was it OK for Krishna to fool around with the Gopis and if we ever tried to ape half of any act of his, we will be booked under I don’t know what sections (SITA Suppression of Immoral Traffic Act)? If your daughter or sister goes to a swimming pool and a local hero is whistling at her or trying to hook her cloths with a fishing rod while she is in the swimming pool, what are you going to do? I am sure the kind of temper you all have, you will lynch him alive. Why the similar act from Krishna was OK with his people in his village? Why is it OK for Krishna to steal Butter when he broke Matkis with his sling shot and was glorified whereas your ass will be booked under armed robbery act if you ever tried to go Krishna way robbing the dairy with some kind of projectile ejecting slingshot (or a gun)?
Keshav was smart and he kept these rural/urban legends alive through his sons and grand sons to their sons…. to their sons…. and so on until they are all around us and we are now a part of this quagmire and shall die someday debating between Krishna acts and our karma.
Just for you to consider that until early seventies Shirdi SaiBaba was nowhere known in the north of India and his tales were slowly emerging in the Maharashtra region. In 1977 after the Bollywood movie was made on this fellow, every Indian got to know of another God and by habit accepted him with open arms and many temples were created to hypnotize and control the masses. The same illuminati is at work even today.
All these Gods have been given to us from Keshav like Men with private agenda and plans and we have been sucked in to it like SUCKERS. Have you ever questioned as to why all our Gods have paunches? Why do the painted pictures show our Gods posing for the picture while their feet are in the Laps of their respective spouses. Like Lord Vishnu has his feet being massaged by Laxmi and she has a smile on her face. These smart Keshavs have made women from their time feel that it’s to their salvation if they behaved like a slave to her husbands. In our own homes we see our mothers following a similar pattern as choreographed by Holy men to comfort their own asses. The pictures of our Gods never show our Gods having a six-pack on their abdomen or bulging calves or muscles. They wore a sari and a wooden chappal that if any present day man wore them, he would damage his feet and become flat footed for life. Our Gods are the mirror image of our modern day Pundits and Brahmans who have maintained the same look for ages. They still come to our holy functions dressed like as if they are in the Ramayana or Mahabharata era. Whereas we the followers, have changed dressing from dhoti-to pajamas-to Trousers -to shorts -to suits. They won’t take this chance and wear jeans or anything comfortable as they want you not to forget that God is watching you and is omnipresent in them so, pay up! It’s all about money, it always was.
It’s easy to understand if you use your logic and think different. The concept of God is the product of the cartel of the likes of Keshavs. These Brahmans, in order to be accepted and accommodated nicely, gave us a Bollywood masala stories and eventually a new God whenever they upgraded their own freak desires.
Everything has an answer just force your mind logically and scientifically in to everything you follow or do without a reason. Even the Lotus coming out Brahma’s naval can be attributed to some sick Keshav of the olden era who must have developed a fungus in his belly button due to unhygienic life style and the cotton like fungus must have grown looking like a plant on his body. In the absence of antibiotics it was impossible to cure it so he cooked up a story of a Lotus coming out of Brahma’s naval and hence a new God. After this story people must have tried to grow cotton fields on their bodies – like tattoo fad of today
We Indians are known for messy living habits. One of the Keshavs in the olden days hogged and hogged and hogged until his wife started taunting him that he looked like an elephant. So fat was he that he could not even chase away the rats nibbling out of the boondi laddus scattered in his room. So in order to have some dignity in front of his people and wife he cooked up a story of an Elephant like God and Rat became his ride?????????????? What the ……….! Sad but true if you can logic it out. Try and ride a rat to your place of work!
Have you ever wondered as to why the Heaven like conditions exist in West? The utopia you talk about in your mythology and the Satyug you crave for, exists out here only in the western countries? Why is Christ, their God for 2000 years, so modern looking that he can still model for DOLCE & GABBANA jeans or any fashion ad. He looks like a fit guy with some kind of six-pack in view. You will never see any of Christ’s picture exploiting any women as it won’t work. Western women want to be equal to the man and their Gods are more logical. As I said our Gods are a mirror image of our society. Go watch Da Vinci code as whatever fiction they worked on, looked real and believable. It might sound stupid to you or a fallacy but the truth is that 80% of the Germans and north Europeans are atheists. Pope Benedict, a German native, has been chosen with a game plan to lure Germans back in to the religion so that their treasury can have more funds and following.
Our religion needs to be upgraded and trimmed so that we can progress and create a Satyug of our own by not blindly following these cock & bull stories floating around for centuries. Ask yourself that if suddenly out there in a dark night in a dark alley if you confront a blue man with snakes hanging from his neck and a weapon in the form of a trident in his hand, what will be your first reaction? Bolt or scram will be the only word which will prevail in your mind! It won’t even occur to you or you won’t want to negotiate with this person that he might be the God you always believed in and prayed everyday!
I have been living abroad, between Europe & US, for about 20 years and being a Punjabi, my first area of interest, upon arrival to the west, was Sex. I always knew that we Indians had it all wrong when it came to sex and the right answer to it could be found only in the western countries where women were liberated. Now nearly after two decades in the west, I am equipped with the required knowledge and experience, I decided to pen my elaborated thoughts on this subject.
We are more than 1 billion in population and are divided as per the following demography:
0-14 years: 30.8% (male 173,478,760/female 163,852,827)
15-64 years: 64.3% (male 363,876,219/female 340,181,764)
65 years and over: 4.9% (male 27,258,020/female 26,704,405)
The average ratio of male and female in the Indian population has been always 55 to 45. In order to avoid the confusion, I am not counting gays and eunuchs as I wouldn’t be able to know their numbers in our country where truth eludes everyone. The demographic data above has been taken from the world fact book of the central Intelligence agency of the USA and has also been cross checked with the census & survey journal of India.
For centuries, men have controlled women and probably in India, this concept was virtually invented. In the history of India, I repeat nowhere else but in India, the most horrific ritual we had was of “sati”where after her husband’s death, wife had to die along with her husband by sitting in his pyre and end her life in a painful way. She would be beaten mercilessly if she refused or tried to escape the scorching flames and then burnt. “Sindoor”, which contained the harmful lead was introduced in the Hindu culture where mothers rubbed it on their daughters head so that over repeated use she would develop the dreaded disease (now categorised as cancer) and will die before her husband hence avoid being made a sati. Sati rituals were stopped but Sindoor continues right until today without women realising that this red stuff they put on their heads to show the world that they are married, meant something else in the olden days. In India, even today, we have the highest female foeticides in the world and the surviving females end up following the doctrines set by men.
One of the doctrines is “Sex is meant only for whores” or many variants of it like ” Sex is not to be enjoyed by women” or ” Pre-marital sex is forbidden, esp. for women” etc etc. An Indian male, after he gets married, brings his wife to his home where she has to live with his joint family. On an average there are about 10 people in that family within confined boundaries of 10 to 50 sq metres. Makeshift walls are used to separate the rooms or curtains are used to mark the boundaries and in the best case scenarios there are these modern flats with bedrooms being built with thin walls. Almost every place in this home is taken and then this is the “holy Shrine” where a woman loses her virginity. She is nervous, new bride, combined by the fear to please her husband, get accepted in the new home, she finally has sex with her husband who is charged up and highly motivated as this would be the first time he is would get laid, officially. He penetrates and almost ejaculates upon entry, sometimes even before. There is a sense of achievement on his part as he rolls over doing a manly job and the woman also feels proud of her achievement of getting rid of the ritual in no time and her torture was short unbelievably. This act continues on the next day and for many years to come and becomes a ritual. Such is the situation that “orgasm” becomes the myth for the Indian women.
I am not saying that no woman enjoys sex in India but what I am trying to say that an average Indian male is inadequate in the act of sex and has no freaking idea how to start doing things right. Recently I was in touch with one of the female bloggers from Chennai where she confessed that men in her city sucked (boring). No one was worth having sex with hence, she masturbated - sometimes three and four times a day and on every occasion she climaxed. She was in fact, addicted to her self inflicted orgasms. I was pleased for her as this was the first time in many years I was able to communicate with a girl from India, who knew what sex was and what was to be expected. Some of the female bloggers, through their way of writing, give me the impression of being at par with their counterparts in west when it came to sex and enjoying it. But again, these women don’t even make 1% of Indian women population. Indian man has found salvation in different facades which, according to him, covers up his sexual dysfunction or inadequacies. He covers up his woman in“Purdah”(Ghoonghat), restricts her to meet other men in the society and grows up a moustache to prove that he is sexually Virile who can ??? the brains out. When I lived in India, I often wondered as to what was the connection between hair on the lips( moustache) and a dick as men always boasted stroking their facial hair by saying - “meri moonch mard kee moonch hai” (my moustache is manly)? This is a solid cover up. By and large a man with a Moustache in India is basically trying to hide his erectile dysfunction or his inadequacies in sex. His moustache is a decoy. He is trying to keep you focused on his designer’s moustache so that you don’t look down there to size up his masculinity. Most of the men sometimes go desperately searching for their dicks in panic in the public urinals. Why panic? Answer has been provided as we now know that about 60% of Indians have very small dicks (a report published by Indian medical, penis, research recently) and most of them need constant assurance that they haven’t lost it in transit someplace, hence this sporadic inventory control.
So bottom line - if your woman has never experienced an orgasm, it is your fault and instead of stroking that moustache of yours, invest time in foreplay and pay attention to the following guidelines.
- Women who have orgasms need clitoral stimulation and are unable to have an orgasm through intercourse alone
- Even for women who do orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone, most still need the right position to provide clitoral stimulation
- Bring the woman very close to an orgasm before you actually engage in intercourse, so she has a better chance to have an orgasm once it begins.
- There’s an interest level. There’s a need for you both to have a connection. It’s not this fast grope, grab & go … An intimacy. A give and take. Conversation. Be interested in what she is saying, and communicate. That seems to be the concept you didn’t know of.
- Treat your woman like people, not a receptacle. She is not there just for you to get off and walk away.
- Women aren’t turned on the same way men are turned on. They’re different. And for them it’s not just like shaking hands.”
- Get rid of that moustache and start believing in yourself.
- Get rid of your parents and give your woman a home without any of your siblings and parents in it. You must know that for a woman to start enjoying sex, she needs to get an orgasm. An orgasm to the power of 10 (on a scale of 0 to 10) is not a myth and it is, in fact, an earth shattering experience for a woman as she cries and screams out of this unusual joy. And when this happens, the last thing she wants is, your frustrated joint family to be around and listening in a state of shock and horror.
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